Saturday, January 16, 2010

Person Progress with Understanding Migraines!

We all know that Migraine disease is something we could do without and definitely not something we want to pass on to our children or get aggravated when we learn someone else close to us has joined our ranks. I know I've been talking a lot about my son lately as we try to weed through his newly discovered headaches, but I wanted to talk about a conversation I had with someone who is close to my son and me.

When I mentioned to Terry about my suspicions around my son having headaches, I was met with a lot of resistance. I was basically told I was probably overreacting and shouldn't put any ideas of Migraines into his head. This was not a total surprise for me especially given the fact that Terry was the same person who accused me of jumping to conclusions when I suspected my own just headaches as actually being Migraines. Naturally I took this comment about my son from where it came. Terry is someone close to us who can offer good advice, sometimes, and needed to know what was going on.

I have talked a lot about why I suspected my son might have Migraines, what we had done and what we were doing before taking the next needed step. The brief details about my son and his headaches - I became aware of my son's headaches just as finals were about to start for his first semester of college. Before I could get together with my son to really talk about Migraines and to not get him too worried, I only told him to keep track of his headaches and symptoms until he came home so we could review it.

After he got home is when we went into a lot more detail about Migraines especially when the quick diary had too much stuff on it to just blow it off. Since he has been home, he has recorded a few bad headaches which also had a few Migraine symptoms. I've given him the "Living Well with Migraine Disease and Headaches" book to read while he is on break too.

My son said the book has been very informative and I'm sure this is not the type of book an 18 year old boy would choose to read (at least my boy), but he seems to appreciate learning the facts around headaches and Migraines. We will have another big talk when he's done; before he goes back to school. After Terry saw my son with the book, I was told it would put ideas in his head about Migraines and didn't think it was a good idea for him. Ugh!

Anyway, I spoke to Terry again recently. I was asked about my son's headaches and what I thought was really going on. I'm sure I winced and shook my head a little as I said I think he is getting Migraines. I continued that my son had a really bad one last week with many Migraine symptoms and that I gave him the book to read to learn about headaches and Migraines; not to put thoughts in his mind, but to educate him.

After I finished with my longer than necessary explanation, Terry apologized! Terry said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said. I just didn't want him to have them."

Wow! I guess some progress has been made in Terry's own education. I didn't say much with the first go around of talks because I had already been down this path with Terry and I would have lost all sense of calmness which I try to keep and I knew the subject would be coming up again. I also knew the path I was taking with my son and I wasn't going to deviate from it unless I thought something different would be better for him. I have to do what I feel is right for him; no matter what anyone else might say.

I still think Terry has a little way to go with the Migraine education thing, but this was definitely a giant step.

Do you have people in your life who Still Don't Get It? That article has materials you can share with someone you know who doesn't understand how debilitating Migraines and headaches can be. There is another article to Help Us Deal with People whose negativity and lack of support are sapping us of our will and energy to manage Migraines and headaches. You are not alone!

We're all in this journey together and some people may eventually start to 'get it' like Terry did. This was actually one of Terry's first signs of understanding. There is hope for those who don't get it now.

Good luck if you have a Terry in your life.


Heather said...

My husband didn't "get it" for the longest time, and he acted angry when I tried anything new for my headaches (mainly due to the cost). After talks with my dad about it (he suffers from fibromyalgia and migraine), he helped me realize that my husband felt out of control because he couldn't do anything to help me, and he took that anger out on me. It's still a battle, but at least now he's not saying things like "You're giving yourself headaches by stressing out so much" and other ridiculous notions!

MigrainePuppet said...

I think you are so right. I think some people have a hard time because they can't help or take away the pain to make you all better. Not hearing the silly little things any longer is big progress!