Sunday, August 21, 2011

Big Work Move

Well, this was the big move weekend at work. They moved almost two hundred people from my building to another town almost ten miles away. Some of us needed to come in this weekend to unpack and do some testing. This will make us available for anyone who has any questions and to make sure the basics are working when people come in tomorrow.

I had never been in this building and never saw any pictures of the area where we would be sitting. It was hard picking out a desk from a paper map and the floor plans had changed several times since the desk assignments were originally picked out. When I say the plans changed, I mean offices either disappeared or appeared out of no where.

My desk was supposed to be facing a corner until the office I was butted up against was taken out which also meant I would be on an end and subject to many more lights. There was something else I was super concerned about too. I think this area is going to be like Grand Central Station with a lot of activity, hustle, bustle and loud talking. I would have been in the middle of the section of our business that does a lot of buzzing about.

A few days before the move, I had a chance to see the final floor plan. I was still very uncomfortable about where my desk was going to be. I wasn't expecting it, but I saw another desk which looked like it would be perfect for me and asked about moving to this other area. This desk had changed from the original plans and the change was approved!

After finally seeing the building, I have to tell you that my old desk had a lot of lights and was indeed in the middle of everything. My new desk is back to facing a corner with an office in front of me and an interior wall next to me. I am so happy that I was able to get my desk relocated to this other area.

This desk is probably the best spot for me and I couldn't have picked a better place to sit if I had been there in person to choose it. I was able to get a good look at my desk this weekend before everyone comes in tomorrow and all of the real chaos begins. Most people are not going to be happy with their areas since everyones desks are smaller.

I will need a spot light disabled (I have a temporary unprofessional fix up) and the fluorescent light will need the same type of light sleeve I had in my old office. I'm not sure if the new building has the light sleeves we had in our old building, but I'm not really concerned about that either. I believe that Migraineurs learn to take care of themselves and will plan for the next step when possible; to do what needs to be done. Let's just say before we left the old building, my light sleeves had disappeared and I actually ended up working my last day there with my office lights turned off.

I believe the new desk location is going to be so much quieter than the other location too. The new area is also right next to my team and others I've been sitting near for many years. I've still got alternate noise plans ready since I won't be in an office any longer, but I don't anticipate needing them as often as I would have if I didn't move my desk out of Grand Central Station. It really is the best place for me.

We'll find out tomorrow how the whole situation works out. I will need to get maintenance to take care of those two light issues or who knows what might appear some day out of the blue and into the dark.


Saturday, August 6, 2011

Keep Trying

I would say I am getting confused again, but in reality, I know what I should do. My current neurologist has been, by far, the best doctor I have gone to for my Migraines so far, but I don't know if she is the best doctor for my Migraines.

I'm not sure that makes sense, but I keep getting closer to making the decision to move on. I have a really good rapport with my doctor where we can talk about anything. However, sometimes she seems to forget what's important to me from previous visits and will talk nonsense or against things I strongly believe in. I have been building a pro and con list around her which has a lot of items in both columns.

During my visit with her last week, we got on the subject of the elimination diet. If you know me, you will know that I believe in the elimination diet as I do not think I would have found most of my food triggers if I did not do the diet and left it up to discovering the foods that trigger my Migraines. It is not easy to do a full blown elimination diet, but it is the only way I could have ever done it as there are other ways to go about doing the diet too.

I also believe I am especially sensitive about the diet because my first neurologist tried to discourage me from trying the elimination diet by telling me she thought 'it would be a complete waste of my time' and another neurologist told me that 'sometimes you could find too much on the elimination diet'. Both neurologists did not see any value in the diet and let me know it. I started my elimination diet anyway right after talking with my first neurologist and was able to show her what a huge difference the diet made for me at my next, which was also my last visit with her. It was actually the only time I ever felt like she really listened to anything I ever said to her.

During my first visit with my current neurologist, she seemed pleased that I had already completed the elimination diet. Now she keeps saying that she does not believe in it; that she finds the best way to find a food trigger is to notice that it keeps triggering you. She did keep agreeing with me as I explained how I felt the diet could be tricky and that we do need to be careful when adding back a new food while on the diet because we have to be cognizant of other Migraine triggers going on around us too. That these other triggers may interfere with the diet and we may need to reintroduce the new food again at another time. Somehow I think she may have been just appeasing me to some extent too. As I mentioned, I do not think I would have found most of my food triggers without having done the elimination diet the way I did it.

I let her know that the whole reason I brought this subject up was because I had just started looking into tyramine. Honestly, so much of what I had seen in my preliminary research made a lot of sense to me where I feel I need to look into it further. She actually shook her head no insinuating that it would not help. So you know what that means, don't you? I have to do a lot more research around tyramine, decide what I need to do and do it.

I moved on to my next topic from there. I told her that I am very frustrated and running out of ideas. I wanted to know what ideas she had for me. She mentioned a few drugs in one class and botox. I know I am not ready to try botox yet and it really kind of surprised me that she brought it up now plus we had some interesting side conversations around that. We ended up choosing a new medication to try and I know we came up with the decision based on our dialog. Can you see why/how I get so confused about this doctor?

Sometimes it gets so easy to just want to give up on trying to help Migraines because it seems like so many things trigger us and nothing seems to work to prevent them which just leaves us easily discouraged. As tough as it is, we have to remember that we need to keep striving for the help and support we do need. I know how hard this is to do especially during the most frustrating and trying of times. We have to try to keep in mind what we have and what we need to keep working for.

I know for me, no matter how old my kids get, I have always enjoyed them at whatever age they are and the grown ups they are turning into. They are my inspiration to keep going. Tomorrow is going to be a real tough day and one of those days you pray not to get a Migraine. I wish my Migraines were under better control right now, but I have to work through the day as best I can and use this as a motivator to keep trying to find that magic bullet.

I will be dropping my son off at school, but worse, I will then go to my cousin's to say goodbye to her son who will not make it back to school for his sophomore year of college. I don't know how I am going to face my cousin as there is nothing anyone can do for her. No matter how tough Migraines are, things can always be worse and having a Migraine during tough times does not help which is why we must work hard to make them as controllable as we can. We have to be ready to help others who may need us without worrying all of the time about our Migraines getting in the way.

I am believing my best chance for better managing my Migraines is to go to a real Migraine specialist. I know I am real lucky in that the Migraine specialist I would want to go to is only the next state over and two hours from my home. Other Migraineurs need to drive a full day or even fly to their Migraine specialist. Regardless, we need to do what we can to manage our Migraines and I am still working through a couple of issues before making the choice that will be best for me.