Friday, October 23, 2009

Forty Year Anniversary Year

I just realized that today is probably as good of a day to celebrate my forty years of Migraines as any other day of the year. Forty years of Migraines. Ugh...

Although I wasn't officially diagnosed until a little over three years ago, it will still be forty years ago sometime this year when my mom brought me to the doctor who told us that I only had headaches and there was nothing he could do about them.

Do you really celebrate years of Migraines like you do birthdays or anniversaries? I don't think that's something I really want to celebrate even though I have learned so much from having Migraines and from the Migraine communities and not just about this disease.

In one way, Migraines have taught me to ask more questions; to stand up for myself; to stand up for others; to write my congresspeople; to question doctors; to partner with doctors. One of the hardest things to learn is to say No. No to foods that you love to eat; to foods you want to eat so you don't hurt someone else's feelings; to someone you have already said Yes to, but have to turn down last minute because of your health reasons. Both of these lists could go on and on.

In my undiagnosed years, I got real good at pretending everything was great and most of the time I didn't even realize when I had a Migraine. I know that sounds funny and hard to believe, but I do remember days of holding my head together because the pain was so bad where nothing I would take would touch the pain. I also remember thinking that I couldn't imagine what Migraine sufferers must feel like if just headaches were like this.

I didn't know much about Migraines and every time I thought about looking them up on-line, it was usually in the middle of one of these really bad headaches which wasn't a good time to look up anything on the Internet. I guess I can count my blessings that I had a bad incident at work where I really needed to find out what was going on and finally, finally looked it up.

The three plus years since my diagnosis almost seem like a lifetime. I have gone through a compilation of doctors, but plan on settling in on my current doctor for a while longer. I have not only learned more about me, but have grown in ways I never thought possible. I wish I had more time these days since I still have so much more to learn about Migraines and medications.

On the other hand, I've already grown so much as a person; is forty years long enough to have had Migraines? I think I'm ready for the Migraines to go away now or am I missing some other positive things I can still get from them? Happy Anniversary?


WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

Congratulations for fighting the good fight for so many years! I don't think 40 years of migraines would be a "Happy" anniversary.:(

MigrainePuppet said...

I don't think I really want to celebrate it either unless, maybe, if I could celebrate it with finally finding that magic combination. That would be nice if they can't be gone already. Thank you Winny.

Megan Oltman said...

Interesting to look at what Migraines may have given us. I think it's not that the pain gives us anything, but if you are introspective you can take the experience and learn from it. If you have grown I think it says more about you than about the Migraines. Migraines stink but Migraineurs who take their experience and grow from it are great people!

MigrainePuppet said...

Thank you for the kind words Megan. I have seen how many of us have grow in positive ways because of our Migraine experiences and who we come in contact with since we've been seeking help for our Migraines. Just watching some people on MMC, you see them come in with oodles of questions and no direction; they later answer questions, help other Migraineurs and give them direction. It's truly a marvelous circle. Migraineurs are truly wonderful people.