Air Horn Graduation

My son had his graduation from high school this week. We really lucked out with the weather on his day especially given that it has been raining almost everyday for the past two weeks. This was a very hot bright sun shiny day.

Realistically, I know I'm never going to win as far as the weather is concerned so I was happy with the sun. My head doesn't like the sun or the rain and graduation would be much better off outside than inside a stuffy auditorium with echoing noises any day of the week.

Graduation day was full of Migraine triggers from the very beginning. I'm sure I don't have to go into the normal stresses of the day or of the challenges of trying to get a teenager up early in the morning to go to the required practices and other pre-graduation preparations when all they want to do is sleep in late.

I also needed to pick up an abortive prescription at my doctor's office and have it filled before going to the mall only to find myself needing to take one after I arrived there. Even though everything was stacked against me, I was hoping I could avoid one on this day, but it would just be another thing I had to deal with that I didn't have the time for.

I got to the ceremony early and was able to find a seat in the shade which helped as much as I would expect. My troubles started after the graduation procedure began - that is when all of the air horns came out! They were ALL over the place and I was surrounded by them. The best part was right after the last kid, excuse me, adult was called up to get his diploma. ALL of the air horns went off for a very long time.

I read a post this morning, No, You're not Crazy, You just Have Migraines, that made me think of the crazy thoughts I had while all of these "Migraine Makers" were sounding off. I was picturing something cutting off (insert your own imagination here) the source that was creating the noises to make their sounds.

I know this is a bit drastic and I probably wouldn't have said anything if I didn't read this great post, but look at this list of triggers and exasperating factors I'd been contending with all day: teenage son, noises, sun, heat, stress, weeks of rain, family members, very loud noises, the mall, the doctor's office, the pharmacy, hormones, dehydration and a bad night's sleep. There were additional stresses not related to graduation going on too. Although I did find out this week I survived the latest round of job cuts, there were many people close to me who did not.

I do try to find the bright side of things and here's what I've been able to come up with for graduation: I dread to think of what I might have done had the graduation actually been held indoors and the air horns been brought in there and blown. I can only allow my imagination to run wild and be thankful I didn't need to live through that fantasy.

I didn't have anything on me, but I would have been afraid of making a scene on my son's last official day of school. I have been working so hard on trying to get my head under control and to be able to control myself in general. I've made some progress, but the rain and all of these other little triggers and the air horns do not help.

Now I have another child on his way to further his education. What more could a proud mom ask for?

No Flashes

I went to my nieces dance recital. It was really nice and the auditorium was dark; just the way I like things. The rules of the program were you could take pictures as long as you didn't use a flash.

However, there were several over zealous parents where about every third performance they not only used a flash camera, but thought they were studio photographers and kept snapping away. I ended up covering my eyes and trying to keep my composure. I actually started planning my escape route over my aunt and brother, then down the aisle and finally out the doors.

I don't want to give up what little normal life I have left! I want to enjoy normal things such as this. I know my nieces are not my daughters, but they are a big part of my life. I do want the other people to enjoy their children's dance recital too, but no flashes should mean no flashes. Right? Or am I being too sensitive?

Homemade Oversite

I need to be more careful when I am away from home. I recently realized that I have become more comfortable with some foods, especially homemade foods, when I really should not be.

The reason for this? When I am at home, my foods are safe. The products are carefully screened at the supermarket so they do not contain my triggers.

The problem with this is that when I am at other peoples houses and they offer me something to eat or drink, I don't think about the product and ingredients they are using. When I prepare the same foods at home, everything is safe. So although their foods look the same, they may be totally different and may not be right for me. I have learned that I have to either make sure I eat before going out or bring a dish that I can eat when I visit.

One thing you'll get to know about me is that I tend to get on a subject and stick with it until I can figure it out or get it out of my system. I know I'm not going to figure this out any time soon. Triggers have been on my mind a lot lately as I really need to get the number of Migraines I am getting down.

At my last Migraine Specialist's visit, she even mentioned that we need to work on finding the right preventative combination since I do have so many triggers. It made me feel so much better having a doctor tell me that rather than having a doctor tell me that 'sometimes you can find too many triggers' as I was told by one of my previous doctors. As you could imagine, that previous doctor only lasted the one doctor visit.

No Trigger Today!

I had a food today that triggers me every time I eat it, but I feel wonderful! Ok, let me step back a little bit. It's normally a trigger food because of the way it's prepared and it's one of the all too irresistible type of foods that I've just recently learned to be able to turn away.

I love chicken franchise. So how come I ate it if I can now pass it up? I was part of the planning committee for the end of season party for my son's sports award dinner and the caterer for the event was also on this committee. I asked preparation questions and we were able to arrange to have the chicken franchise cooked in way that I could eat it too. She said they can normally have any dish made with special requests; that they get them all of the time.

I really was prepared not to have any. I had requested the dish since it is one of my son's favorite foods too. In the past, I was able to talk myself into believing that I was not really hurting myself too bad just having a very tiny piece of it even though I would get multiple Migraine symptoms almost instantaneously before I would get the inevitable. I can tell you now, I know I am not going to get a Migraine from the serving I had today. It usually hits me pretty fast and I don't feel a thing. Nothing! Not one single symptom coming on!

It really does pay to know your triggers and if you have food triggers, I strongly recommend you go down to the ingredient detail level of your food triggers. In chicken franchise, I only have one ingredient that triggers me. Once this was substituted, I was golden and ended up enjoying one of my favorite dishes which I had pretty much written off.

I am a happy camper today.

Stackable Trigger Confusion

The more I have learned about Migraines, in a layman's sense, the more I feel I don't know about them and need to learn additional information. It seems triggers are one of the big keys to Migraines and what you do with your triggers is one of the most important factors for you as triggers can be very individual.

Right now, stackable triggers (podcast on triggers; transcript of podcast) are what is confusing me. Stackable triggers are triggers that don't necessarily trigger a migraine by itself, but can trigger a Migraine when we come across other stackable triggers or stress. What confuses me is that I'm not sure if I should just avoid stackable triggers all of the time too, that is if it is an avoidable stackable trigger. I would imagine this would be the prudent thing to do.

You see, I have a lot of triggers. Some are avoidable; some are not. I have gotten so much better about avoiding the triggers I can, but it does take time to break some old habits or to just not do something on impulse - without even thinking about it. Or worse yet, to do or eat something because you don't want to hurt someone else's feeling. This only ends up hurting you in the end. I am really trying to not play around with my triggers in general and stackable trigger limitations anymore.

I think these stackable triggers are still triggers even if they do not cause a full blown Migraine by themselves. I also do not know when an uncontrollable trigger may be lurking around and going to show it's evilness which will cause that dreaded Migraine. I can't afford the time or money that a Migraine costs any longer. I know how hard this is since I am faced with my triggers everyday.

One stackable trigger I find hard to give up right now is chocolate. It has always been my stress reliever. This is a time when I need my chocolate the most, but I also know I have to stay away from it if I want to get through this period of time. Talk about stress on top of stress!

I have a lot more to say about food triggers - just not right now. Food triggers have become a very sore subject for me; some justifiable, some not. I will not whine about my food triggers or whine because I ate something that caused me to get a Migraine especially if it was my fault. What I may do is complain about the number of food and other triggers I do have. But even then, I don't really like to complain unless I've just had too much to handle for too long or am just having a plain old rotten day. Right now, I should find out within the next month if I still have a job.

Now where's that chocolate when you really need it? Just kidding. That's not going to help me if I need to find a new job.

No Past Ghost Doctor Regrets - Part II

Although I don't really regret the path of doctors I have taken, some of their absurd comments still haunt me. While their comments may repeat in my head at times, I like to think of them as a way of trying to keep me in check or another chance to get a good laugh at the past doctors ignorance's and glad I knew enough to fire their sorry butts while not wasting any more of my time or money on them.

Let's see, what are some of my favorite comments? I think some of the more common comments we tend to hear from doctors that I have gotten are: "they're just headaches, there's nothing I can do"; "if this medication doesn't work, I don't know what to try next"; "your Migraines are caused by stress"; "just get more sleep". All of these comments show the ignorance about Migraines on the part of the doctors.

The more unique comments I have received from doctors: "it's not worth trying the elimination diet"; "sometimes you can go a little too far in finding triggers"; "you can keep doing what you're doing or retry this medication"; "you don't need to keep as much detail in your Migraine diary". Ok, these also show Migraine ignorance from my doctors.

First of all, I can't imagine any doctor not wanting a Migraine patient to try to find any triggers. What better way to identify food triggers then the elimination diet? Not worth it? Give me a break!

Second of all, how can you find too many triggers? If a trigger is a trigger for you, isn't it great that you've identified it and are able to eliminate another trigger if it is avoidable? And if it's not avoidable, perhaps there are other things you can do to make it less severe, but the bottom line is that at least you are aware of the trigger. On the other hand, I can understand if I feel I have too many triggers, but it's still better to know what they all are and not put some kind of a quota on the number of triggers I can have.

Third, if you have bad side effects to a medication that didn't work the first time, how can being bullied into taking it again make it work and cause no side effects the second go around? Honestly, if I wanted to keep doing what I was doing, I wouldn't have switched to going to him as my neurologist. I switched up again real quick after that visit!

Lastly, how can you keep too much detail in your Migraine diary? I can tell you, I didn't really keep too much then and especially now, I don't keep enough which is a big shame on me.

I've gone back and forth between Neurologists and GPs. I no longer see any of the doctors who made the comments above. I am currently seeing a pseudo Migraine specialist. Almost all of her practice is devoted to Migraine and headache patients. I like her, but like all relationships, she has her little quirks too. Nothing to make me fire her which is good because the next real Migraine doctor to try is a few more hours away!

Anyhow, whenever I think I may have found a new trigger, the comment about finding too many triggers inevitably pops into my head. I've always been a double and triple checker and am much worse now. I've got to prove it beyond any doubt before I will say it is a trigger for me.

As I stated upfront and in Part I, I really don't regret my decision about any of these doctors. If I didn't learn anything Migraine related from these doctors, I certainly learned other valuable lessons from them. These comments truly remind me that doctors aren't perfect and don't know everything. We have to stay on a quest to find a doctor who will fit our big picture need which is someone who we are comfortable with, we can ask questions of, give suggestions to and have real conversions with that is someone who will be a true partner with us.

Although I have some little idiosyncrasies with my current doctor, so far we have a good rapport. I have only gone to her twice so it is still a pretty new relationship, but I am grateful that it was not one that lasted only one visit like some of the others had as you could imagine by some of the comments above. She has plenty of fresh ideas which is something none of my other doctors ever showed.

I feel I am no longer a puppet of any of my doctors. I can now make my own choices and ask appropriate questions. If needed, I know where to go for research before and after a visit. It makes me feel so much more liberated.