Sometimes we have to give up something to hopefully regroup and ultimately get back on track so we can move ahead. It has been quite a few months since I made my decision and I still haven't said anything to anyone about it, except for my team that I would be taking a leave from playing this summer.
I have been playing softball for well over thirty years with a few breaks when the boys were born and at other big times in our lives, but this is the first time I am taking a break for Migraine. I almost feel like I'm letting the Migraine win a round by not playing. As much as I didn't want to "give in", I did a lot of long, hard thinking about what would be best for me. At that time, I still wasn't feeling my best. I was exhausted most of the time, still struggling with many other symptoms and had the constant pounding going on.
I knew I needed to concentrate on my health. I honestly didn't know if I could commit to a season and maybe this would give me the opportunity to turn my meds upside down or try something else drastic, but all I knew was that something had to give and I didn't want it to be me.
I didn't know if I could take the shining sun, the heat, the setting sun, the night lights, the running or the yelling, but I will also miss my friends, my teammates, the competition, the exercise and everything that comes with team.
Right now, the games have just started and I am somewhat surprised how well I have handled not playing. Whenever I ask myself if I could have actually played this season, I bounce my head around a little and don't even want to think about it so I still have to agree that I made the right choice even though it is very early in the season.
My goal is to make it through this summer without playing my favorite sport and hopefully make some changes that will allow me to move forward, to start getting more wins over Migraine while looking forward to playing next season. Migraine may have this round, but I will stay motivated and have no choice but to win this serious game.