Sunday, June 5, 2011

Facebook Friends Friends

I am not a big facebooker, but I do have an account. My friends are mostly family members along with some friends, some moms of my boys friends and some of my friends kids. This list mostly grows as my nieces and nephews get old enough to have an account of their own. It's really neat to see them grow up and come into their own personalities; especially watching how they interact with their friends and each other.

I got so freaked out yesterday as I was looking at a posting on my News Feed page. It was a very innocent post that one of my friend’s daughter made. I really adore this girl, but one of the responses she received piqued my curiosity so I dug into it a little deeper. I ended up going into this other kid's profile and looking at her friends list. No, I'm not a stalker, I was just getting this very bad feeling and I had to investigate it as far as I could take it.

You're not going to believe this. The friend of my friends daughter is the daughter of my first neurologist! Can I throw up now? I still get the heebie geebies whenever I think about this doctor or even drive by her office. Unfortunately, her office is in town, across the street from one of the churches I have been frequenting and right next door to a place where one of my brothers likes to meet me sometimes. (He doesn't know how I feel about next door.)

I didn't know much about Migraines when I first started going to see her and she was no help in educating me at all about Migraines!! In many ways, I feel like I wouldn't be where I am today if she wasn't as incompetent as she was because when I get angry, I get busy. There were two incidents that stick out the most in my mind when I think of her, although there were many other things that occurred that I will never forget either.

The first thing that makes me shiver is when I think about a new medication she had given to me. I let enough time pass to determine that it was not working and my Migraines were actually getting worse. I tend not to want to make waves (hehe), but I ended up calling her office because I couldn't take it any longer. While talking to her, I could tell something was very off and it was like she just didn't believe me. This is something that will set me off very easily, but I was able to keep relatively calm and she reluctantly agreed to some other alternative I pulled out of my hat because she wasn't going to do anything to help me until my next visit. Really? Yes, really. Clonazepam was not the right drug to help me with my Migraines.

After getting a little more education and becoming a little proactive for myself, I thought that it would be good to try the elimination diet especially since nothing else was helping. Still trying to be good and only follow doctor orders, I decided I would start it right after talking to my doctor. I couldn't believe it when she didn't think it would be worth my while to try the diet! Luckily, I had put a lot of work into my plan, done a lot of research, had already laid a lot of the groundwork and decided to continue with my plan anyway.

This is where I started thinking for myself and using my doctors as a guide to assist with the decision I thought would be best for me and advocating for myself.

The best part of these two experiences with this doctor is that during my last visit with her, I brought all kinds of charts and documents which showed her how much the elimination diet had helped me. This was the only visit I thought she ever truly listened to what I had to say and actually joined me on my side of her desk to take a look at the paperwork I brought as I went through everything.

This taught me that no matter what I have to say, I deserve to have my doctor listen to what I am talking about - not only for her benefit, but more importantly for me.

While talking to her during this visit, this was also when she slipped and told me that the only reason she put me on the clonazepam was because she thought my Migraines were totally stress related! Honestly, I have no idea how I was able to remain calm for the rest of this visit considering how I knew this drug did nothing for my Migraines or for me, how she never listened to anything I had to say until this visit and how I never said anything about any stress in my life AT ALL! I know there are other ways to tell when someone is under some stress, but we never talked about anything like that.

I kept my cool because I knew this was my last visit with her. I only went back to show her that yes, the elimination diet and finding any triggers might really be worth someones while plus I needed a refill on my real prescriptions until I could get in to see my next new doctor as I would never, ever go back to her even if she was the last neurologist left on earth. I also felt the need to go back to her this last time because I knew she would still be treating unsuspecting Migraine patients and I am hoping my last visit made a difference to her practice. I later found out who the doctor was that she did her fellowship under; another neurologist I would never recommend to anyone.

I absolutely don't regret going to this neurologist because she honestly taught me invaluable lessons about how my relationship should, or more importantly, should not be with my doctors. I know I have to take my own health and put it into my hands while partnering with my competent doctors. I have to keep working toward having the best doctor for me and keeping myself as educated as I can about Migraines too. It's also important to stay as active as we can in any legislative action that is going on. This is not as difficult as it may sound as there are many people who help us make this as easy on us as possible to get us involved. It can take as little as five minutes of our time to get in touch with our congresspeople. We need to get as many people as we can involved so we can get the help we need for our Migraine disease.

Although I don't blame my first neurologist's daughter for her mother's incompetency as a doctor, I was not expecting to see a connection to this doctor yesterday, especially on my facebook page and to have this rush of memories come flooding back on me. I thought I got rid of her a few years ago and only expected to bump into her every so often at the grocery store where she barely recognizes me even though I don't think she quite places where she knows me from either. I definitely never stop to chit chat with her as I am afraid I would say something inappropriate for the grocery store and I would rather leave her in my past anyway.

Have you ever bumped into one of your old doctors? I presume she is a nice person with a normal life; just not very good at her job. I have observed her at the store a few times and even heard her on the phone with her daughter (in the middle of one of my appointments), but she is someone I don't want any type of a relationship with either.


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