Saturday, May 14, 2011

Glaring Misses

No matter how much I think I know my Migraines, sometimes I will get blindsided by something that is right in front of me that I just did not see. Too late to do anything about it, I realized I left my sunglasses and hat in my car. I've gone through this enough times that I should know better. I'm just hoping I've finally learned from this last experience, but honestly, I am getting so forgetful lately that it's really becoming a big concern of mine.

The first thing I noticed as I walked into the meeting room was that all of the fluorescent lights were turned out. Yippee! That was all of the distraction I needed to not detect another big issue I would have even though I sat with my back to the windows. Subconsciously, I may have been hoping that it wouldn't be that bad and that maybe, finally, I would be almost normal again where these silly things would no longer be an issue for me. Sigh. Maybe someday, but I also knew I had a busy week with little sleep so my resistance would already be low.

Although the windows were to my back, I was doing a lot of facing to the right in the room which allowed too much glare from the windows to have access to me. It was early into the meeting when my aura came on like a thick shade being rolled down a window. This is when my forgotten hat finally dawned on me!

From my past experimentations, I don't think the sunglasses would have worked as well as a hat because, for me, the sun glare would have gotten in through the side, but a hat could have been positioned to block the glare. However, it didn't really matter what past experimentations may have shown because the bottom line was that I did not have my hat with me. I get so frustrated at myself when I do these boneheaded moves.

Do you want to hear the irony of this situation? As this was going down, there was a Migraine doctor talking about the importance of taking your triptans early since this is the time when they would work best. My dilemma? I was having an argument with myself about if I really needed to take a triptan (I was pushing limits), but I had also just changed purses and could not remember which pocket I put my meds into! I knew I put all of my meds in one area where I would easily remember and could get to them readily. Oh boy. Another absentminded move on my part.

This whole experience really got me to thinking about different things on many different levels.

*Sometimes when I get a Migraine, I can either talk like a chatterbox or hardly at all. I'm sure some of my reaction depends on whatever is going on in my brain at the time, but other times I think I get quiet if I find I might start tripping over some of my words. I don't know that others will always notice this, but if I can feel it coming on, I think I will avoid talking a lot so I don't sound so foolish. I have found that lately I am stammering a lot more which is very frustrating and probably makes me stammer even more.

*I wear my current hat all of the time in my car, food shopping and places like that. However, I keep forgetting to take it in other places where I should be wearing it too. I like the hat I currently have and it has a special meaning for me, but I know I need another style hat I can use in other places and have been searching for another hat for some time. One of the other Migraineurs in the meeting was carrying and wearing her hat about. I really liked her hat and it was the style I had been looking for; only I didn't really know it until I saw it which also looked really good on her. Since the meeting, I looked through the stores again and still couldn't find a similar type of a hat so I ended up hitting the internet. I finally found a couple of hats that I just ordered. I know I have to wear my hat more often and I have to be comfortable with my hat too, but I need to stop forgetting them. I am hoping with more than one hat, the likelihood of forgetting one will go down.

*I had a doctor's appointment a few days after this meeting. This is when I found out that my doctor had done her fellowship under the doctor that spoke at the meeting. Although I wasn't planning on changing any medications during this visit because of my pending endocrinologist visit, I had a lot to go over with her and now I have even more to talk to her around her office staff which I still need to sort through for myself first.

*I need to get my Migraines and health in order so I can regain better control over myself. I may not be able to regurgitate everything I need to during a Migraine, but I think part of that is the stammering issue so I will cut myself short without even noticing it and I found it surprising that I was able to remember a lot of what happened during the meeting afterward. I need to get control over this area too as this is what scares me while working with Migraine.

*I also realized that although I may not physically miss some of the events I have planned, I do kind of mentally miss some of these events I am 'present' for. There has to be a better way!

I still have a way to go and hope I don't need to learn any of these lessons again. I mean, how many times can I keep repeating the same boneheaded moves? All of this nonsense just has to stop!


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